new layout

i've had to change my whimscal layout because the person who created it, clearly doesn't make blogskins anymore. sigh.

i used to scour for pretty blogskins just to pretty up the blog. emm..and why does apple + sprinkle describe me? i am so weird. i WAS so weird.

this is pretty much what i am these days. black, white, grey. single, solid colours.

i'm thinking about moving back to blogger. what say you?

sigh. no butter tonight. lalalalaa.

oh and good news, i don't tear or even think about the past anymore (:

someone was just ssying. i should have trained more than one guy when i was at my peak.

here's who i gave up for one guy:
1. a - tall, quite cute, sea sports but he was bad cos.. gf-on/off issues and then i dont know what happened. i never returned his postcard and now he's still with that one gf.

2. b - rich, smart but not attracted to him

3. c - tall, smart, cute, naive: too naive for me (!? why so picky..)

4. d - flirt

5. j - like before liked gf but told me after: nah

6. d - normal ac boy. too goodie

btw names do actually start with a,b,c,d etc.

now.. i have no one. hah. karma.

i don't know what i'm doing back here but i guess i just can't let go of the past ?

anyway, with all the new sites like tumblrrrrrrrr, flickrrrrrrrrr, twitterrrrrrr (anyone see a similarity here) sometimes it's good to go back to old school bloggerrrrr.

in any case, me..I mean I have been pretty neurotic these past few weeks. i know it's because my time here is ending and i just don't want to go. or more like, i just don't want to return to school.

giving up my status as a full-time journalist, surrendering my pass and my lovely email, saying goodbye to all the contacts made via email, saying goodbye to my lovely lovely colleagues. i can only say i am very sad to do so.

i cannot imagine life back at school. with all the people i dislike and don't want to see.

you know, i always try to be a martyr and blame myself for not fitting in, for not liking who everyone likes. but i'm sick of saying that, oh i really hate this person and that i've tried so hard to like her but i just can't.

now i know, i like someone because they are geniunely nice. they are kind. they are not calculative, arrogant or snobby. they are definitely people worthy of my respect. i'm not going to force myself to pretend to like everyone anymore. if i don't like her, i guess i will say i don't. or maybe not, in order to protect myself.

picture posts are only my way of pretending that i have so much going on in my life. you hardly see anyone banging away on long posts for their blogs.

going through my old school emails, it pisses me off that i still manage a tear when it triggers a memory of the past. it's a good thing that they are all going to my gmail now, so i may never ever have to log in.

it's been a long while, but i'm not back here.

i don't even remember what i typed here last month.

but anyway. it's not like anyone reads what i write here. but they have no choice but to read what i write on the papers. whoo-hoo?

i miss..my bigbrother and stupid fun nights.

but then again, i miss no one.

i wish someone would respond and yet i dread any form of communication.

i think i'd like to continue living in my bubble.

i don't know who or what makes me cry anymore.
that's great.. right?